Father save me

John 12:27
"Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour."

 That's my favorite scripture lately. Sometimes we all want to quit. Sometimes we all want to give up or escape even for a moment from our lives.  But deep down, when I really think about it, I'm glad for where I am. I want to be a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend, a daughter...
I want all the moments that are my life, the good and the hard things.  At times my soul is troubled, but what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour... Though at times I wish for relief, my cause, my purpose, my hearts truest desire is to love, to serve, to learn, and to live.  Jesus wanted to save us, even though He knew it would be hard.  May we follow Him.

Fate

Have you ever tried to live in such a way that you believed that everything that happened to you was some how fate?  As if, every bad thing that happened to you was somehow protecting you from something worse, or leading you to something better.  I think I used to be pretty good at this.  I can remember when my oldest was very young and I had mixed up a fresh pitcher of juice only to spill the entire container on the kitchen floor minutes later.  Frustrating...yes, but not impeding of all happiness.  As I toweled it up, and then mopped the floor to get all the sticky up, I remember thinking, maybe God was saving us, especially my little toddler, from unseen bacteria or other germs on the floor.  Maybe every time you hit every red light as your driving somewhere God is really saving you from that crazy driver who would have hit your car.  Maybe every time you loose you keys (even when you always put them in the same place), or your toddler poops his pants right before it's time to go, God is saving you.  Maybe every time you can't go because one of your kids is sick or you can't find a sitter, God is trying to teach you something.  Maybe every time you try to do something nice for someone you love or who is in need and it ends up a mess, God is taking care of it.  Maybe every time you get sick or hurt, God is really helping you.  I really believe that God is saving us, teaching us and taking care of us and everyone else, even when everything in life seems frustrating or irritating or never to work out.  I don't always understand, but I'm grateful for it. 

This week I've been trying to keep that perspective.  I find that instead of feeling angry...I can feel grateful, and instead of feeling frustration...I can feel peace.

Rain

Today I cleaned out the gutters around my house.   It's supposed to rain all week.  The light outside in stormy weather is something to behold.  Tonight it cast an orange-ish glow over my part of the world.  It was beautiful.  The colors in my yard were vivid and bright, almost like when you wear those amber tinted sunglasses.

While I was making dinner my girly was drawing at the table, waiting for me to come draw butterflies with her.   She was getting things ready and said, "Here, I'll move your chair closer to mine, because we love each other." 

Everyone was in a good mood today . . . maybe it's the rain . . . maybe because we're just so close to summer.

I'm glad for the rain and the thunder.  My plants were thirsty and my soul needs the rumble.

Blooming Berries & Stuff

My blackberries are in full bloom.  In a few weeks they'll be covered with berries.  I can't wait!  Blackberry bushes are the meanest plants that I know of.  They are entirely coated in thorns...the stems, leaves, everything.  It's like the plants know how good their berries are and set up this massive defence system.  I understand the bush is just taking care of it's own.  
My first crop of blackberries was smallish and I wasn't sure what to do with them, but last year I found my favorite cobbler recipe, and I was able to make Blackberry cobbler throughout the winter with my frozen berries.   I'm expecting to get a good haul this year.  I should have plenty to freeze and share.  Yippee!!


Last year I planted three blueberry bushes.  They are making berries too, but they are pretty small and won't probably give me more that one recipe of muffins worth this year.  I'm hoping they will get really well established this year so maybe, next year, I'll have a bunch of berries.

At Lowe's this weekend I picked up four more plants.  I got two raspberry bushes and two seedless grape vines.  They were on clearance for $1 each.  They look like dead sticks right now, but I really hope they will grow.  Sometimes I have planted things that looked like they would never survive and then, to my great pleasure, they did.  Whenever I plant seeds, I wonder over the potential life that sleeps within them.  Some plants seem so healthy and beautiful and then croak a month later.  I think there are many lessons we can learn from growing things.   At times we as people, might seem like those dead stick bushes I bought.  We still have some life left deep inside and we just need nourishing and time to grow.  

I don't have a particular garden spot in my yard.  I just plant things where I think they will be happiest and grow.  If I find that a plant isn't happy where I planted it, I dig it up and move it somewhere else.   I do what I think will work, it doesn't always, but I keep trying.  When I first started growing things I lost more plants than I managed to keep alive.  Sometimes it was because I tried to force things to grow in places they didn't want to, but other times it just wasn't meant to be.   I have learned that not every plant is for me and my gardening.  I choose plants that are pretty hardy, don't need to be watered too often, and will come back year after year with very little encouragement.  :)

I love spring.  It brings me flowers every year.

Pucker Up

Yesterday, I picked up my girly from school and she proclaimed, "Today I kissed-did lots of kids on the playground." I asked her how many, but I think she wasn't counting. She then says, "I tried to kiss T..."
I asked, "Did he run too fast?"
"Yea."
She was sick all week, and yesterday was her first day back. It was probably good they ran...Hahaha. But really, who could resist this face??

I think she had fun playing kiss chase.

Dance

Two days ago I unleashed my silly self while pumping gas. Someones radio was blaring and I just danced right there in the parking lot. My dark side said, "You're being ridiculous," but my light side laughed and said, "I don't care!" When I got back in my car the lady in front of me smiled. I didn't notice anyone watching me, but I think she may have glimpsed my groove. :)
Last night my little girly was playing near me and suddenly announced, "Ach, I gotta go pee!" She jumped up and then started to shake her hips and wave her arms and said, "I'm gonna dance to the potty." And she did. I laughed at that girl I love, who is my hearts dear friend. Sometimes I am lonely for people and friends, but I am glad for my children who are my friends, and that I can be a friend to myself. My best friend that is myself, tells me to laugh more, love more, and live more.